Adventures in Dating Part Two
After the first break up with my most recent ex, I spent a lot of time with a friend of a friend who also happened to be one of the teachers at my kid's school. :-0
I will refer to him as Professor Hottie.
He was going through a divorce, using one of the lawyers at the law firm I work for, and he and I started bonding over his divorce paperwork. My kid was in one of his classes at the time as well, and had had him as a teacher in other classes for the last couple of years.
Professor Hottie is the kind of guy that EVERY woman is attracted to. He is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He is also charismatic, funny and genuinely caring. Everyone likes him. Never in my life had a guy like that been interested in me.
Eventually, as he was pouring out his heart to me about his evil ex-wife, our friendship became more. Without warning, one day he just kissed me. Passionately. My ex and I had JUST broken up (more or less) and I felt about 2 nanoseconds of guilt before just going for it. What followed was several months of me spending a lot of time at his place, where he would cook for us and play guitar; where we would watch movies and bang our brains out. At first I was totally OK with the "friends with benefits" label, although in the beginning I don't know if he wanted more, but I said the wrong thing. He asked early on, after a rousing game of mattress tag, how I would define what we were doing. I wasn't sure how to answer as I did not want to bare my soul and be rejected, so I tossed it back to him, and he came up with the friends with benefits thing. Who knows. I know he told me repeatedly outside of the bedroom that relationships suck and that he was not looking for another one. But one night, again after screwing around, he also looked at me and told me he loved me. I think that surprised him (as well as me!), because he added, "well, you know what I mean." Trying to be cool and sophisticated, I said "yeah" but didn't mean it. What the hell did that mean?? In any event, those months of bonding after my mother's and his marriage's deaths laid (no pun intended) the groundwork for a long and interesting relationship.
For those few months, we were like best friends. My mom had just passed away and his place was like a safe haven away from my stress as a motherless single mom. We had both gotten out of sticky relationships and I pretty much knew all of the gory details of the downfall of his marriage. It later got to the point that he started dropping information about online dates he was going on and about this psycho woman or that one. I even helped him scare off one stalker-like chick he met online and dated a couple of times. She was actually stalking him one afternoon, sitting in his driveway til he came home. My kid and I met him at the supermarket, got his keys and went back to his place, pretending that my kid was OUR kid, that Professor Hottie was my baby-daddy and that we were reconciling. It was a hoot for me and the kid (then about 13 years old). And it worked too - crazy lady backed off, for a while at least.
Unfortunately, by then I had gotten over my break up and was really interested in dating Professor Hottie myself. He was gorgeous! He was a nice guy who even liked my kid. And, most importantly, my kid liked him. I tried to be cool about things, drop hints when he would complain about some high maintenance, crazy chick he went out with that not all of us are evil crazy bitches and perhaps he should find someone else who was normal. (Yoo WHHOO - uh, ME!) A few times I would actually comment "Wow, I would never do that." I was there for him when he wanted to talk, when he needed to scare some weirdo away, when he needed some TLC - yet he eventually started dating a co-worker and we stopped hanging out.
Did he have a clue I would have been interested in more? Was he ignoring my not very subtle hints? Was he really just not interested in buying the cow because he was already getting the milk for free? Who knows.
I do know that he was, and still is, very impressed with my sexual abilities because he has said so often. He seems to love one certain thing I do. In fact, since then, every time he ends a relationship, he comes back to me. We hang, we talk, bullshit around, and then eventually go back to fooling around. Admittedly I have had better sexual experiences (not that he is bad - just not the best I've had), but as an all around package, he is pretty damn awesome. Would I be willing to risk our friendship to date him? Absolutely. I have noticed he does NOT stay friendly with women he breaks up with, so maybe that is why I can't seem to make it past the friends with benefits stage. I suppose I should be flattered that he respects our friendship. Or is it the opposite, and he has no respect for me, and just wants to use me when he is hard - again, no pun intended - up?
Any thoughts from my non existent readers in the Internet world?
I will eventually post some more adventures with Professor Hottie, as it has been an ongoing saga.
I will refer to him as Professor Hottie.
He was going through a divorce, using one of the lawyers at the law firm I work for, and he and I started bonding over his divorce paperwork. My kid was in one of his classes at the time as well, and had had him as a teacher in other classes for the last couple of years.
Professor Hottie is the kind of guy that EVERY woman is attracted to. He is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He is also charismatic, funny and genuinely caring. Everyone likes him. Never in my life had a guy like that been interested in me.
Eventually, as he was pouring out his heart to me about his evil ex-wife, our friendship became more. Without warning, one day he just kissed me. Passionately. My ex and I had JUST broken up (more or less) and I felt about 2 nanoseconds of guilt before just going for it. What followed was several months of me spending a lot of time at his place, where he would cook for us and play guitar; where we would watch movies and bang our brains out. At first I was totally OK with the "friends with benefits" label, although in the beginning I don't know if he wanted more, but I said the wrong thing. He asked early on, after a rousing game of mattress tag, how I would define what we were doing. I wasn't sure how to answer as I did not want to bare my soul and be rejected, so I tossed it back to him, and he came up with the friends with benefits thing. Who knows. I know he told me repeatedly outside of the bedroom that relationships suck and that he was not looking for another one. But one night, again after screwing around, he also looked at me and told me he loved me. I think that surprised him (as well as me!), because he added, "well, you know what I mean." Trying to be cool and sophisticated, I said "yeah" but didn't mean it. What the hell did that mean?? In any event, those months of bonding after my mother's and his marriage's deaths laid (no pun intended) the groundwork for a long and interesting relationship.
For those few months, we were like best friends. My mom had just passed away and his place was like a safe haven away from my stress as a motherless single mom. We had both gotten out of sticky relationships and I pretty much knew all of the gory details of the downfall of his marriage. It later got to the point that he started dropping information about online dates he was going on and about this psycho woman or that one. I even helped him scare off one stalker-like chick he met online and dated a couple of times. She was actually stalking him one afternoon, sitting in his driveway til he came home. My kid and I met him at the supermarket, got his keys and went back to his place, pretending that my kid was OUR kid, that Professor Hottie was my baby-daddy and that we were reconciling. It was a hoot for me and the kid (then about 13 years old). And it worked too - crazy lady backed off, for a while at least.
Unfortunately, by then I had gotten over my break up and was really interested in dating Professor Hottie myself. He was gorgeous! He was a nice guy who even liked my kid. And, most importantly, my kid liked him. I tried to be cool about things, drop hints when he would complain about some high maintenance, crazy chick he went out with that not all of us are evil crazy bitches and perhaps he should find someone else who was normal. (Yoo WHHOO - uh, ME!) A few times I would actually comment "Wow, I would never do that." I was there for him when he wanted to talk, when he needed to scare some weirdo away, when he needed some TLC - yet he eventually started dating a co-worker and we stopped hanging out.
Did he have a clue I would have been interested in more? Was he ignoring my not very subtle hints? Was he really just not interested in buying the cow because he was already getting the milk for free? Who knows.
I do know that he was, and still is, very impressed with my sexual abilities because he has said so often. He seems to love one certain thing I do. In fact, since then, every time he ends a relationship, he comes back to me. We hang, we talk, bullshit around, and then eventually go back to fooling around. Admittedly I have had better sexual experiences (not that he is bad - just not the best I've had), but as an all around package, he is pretty damn awesome. Would I be willing to risk our friendship to date him? Absolutely. I have noticed he does NOT stay friendly with women he breaks up with, so maybe that is why I can't seem to make it past the friends with benefits stage. I suppose I should be flattered that he respects our friendship. Or is it the opposite, and he has no respect for me, and just wants to use me when he is hard - again, no pun intended - up?
Any thoughts from my non existent readers in the Internet world?
I will eventually post some more adventures with Professor Hottie, as it has been an ongoing saga.
Relationship is much harder than friendship.
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