Here I am, yet again on my own,,

I wasn't going to include the "yet" but I did not want Boston, or whichever band sings those words, to come after me someday. Its been a long time since I last blogged here. I haven't even looked through all of my previous posts. I saw that I had a couple of hundred views. I guess over 7 years, that's pretty good! I have yet to find Mr. Right. Isn't that what we are all looking for? Mr. or Mrs. Perfect for Me? Whichever "me" you are. I am dating someone. Kind of. We used to be engaged and dated for over a decade. That relationship was filled with opportunities I missed and poor choices I made. Even now, I wonder if I should be trying harder or just walk away. Is anyone else in a relationship that feels like it should either be a friendship or a past relationship? Why do you stick it out? I think I do because I don't want to die alone. I am still working the same secretarial work I've been doing since my kid was in diapers, so that we could eat and have shelter. I have yet to find the man of my dreams who will swoop in and make everything, especially the financial stuff, easier. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I want Mr. Right to ride in on his white horse with his sacks of money to save the day. I am a Modern Progressive Woman to a point. I am tired of working so hard and not getting ahead. I am tired of making all decisions alone because I seem to always make the wrong one. Who can relate to the feeling of self-doubt brought on because every decision you make brings disaster? My son is no longer an unruly teenager but he has an adolescent brain and impulses in his adult body. He is still oppositional and fights me every step of the way. I fight with him but will fight just as strongly for him if anyone even glances at him the wrong way. How many relationships have I lost because of this? I've made different dating decisions because of my role as a parent. If I hadn't become a parent, would I have found love? How many single parents, whether to a minor or an adult, are quietly yearning for companionship, passion and security?

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